we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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