Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
