how hairy? two words: wookie tits
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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