I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
