there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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