my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
