if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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