I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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