my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am one with the molecules
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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