I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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