I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
