My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
