things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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