I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
