she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
