can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
