I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
