He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
