please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
