so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm getting married
To pizza
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
