I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
