My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You can't special order awesome
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
