For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
