Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
