Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
