No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
