their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
