I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
