New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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