you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
