Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
