Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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(607): View more from New York

he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(619): View more from California

I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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(519): View more from Ontario

yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married

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(214): View more from Texas

Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead

(972): View more from Texas

Please do that

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