so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
