We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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