no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
