So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
