i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
