there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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