This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
