I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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