another moral hangover. fuck.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
