Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He better not be in your backpack
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
