mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
