He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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