sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
