you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
