i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
