her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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