just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
