dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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